Relationships
How Can Couple's Counselling Help?
If you're feeling stuck in a relationship that defaults to criticism, defensiveness, disrespect, or even complete withdrawal, then therapy may support the positive change that you're hoping for. With guidance, you will learn how to identify, stop, and transition out of negative cycles. Research shows that couples can recover and even grow from difficult periods. Both Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Couple's Therapy have proven to be effective treatments for couples looking to repair their connection and develop a more secure bond.
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Therapy allows you to address your pain in a supportive and neutral environment so that you feel heard and understood. Knowing that your partner really sees you and empathizes with you will help dissolve lingering feelings of shame, blame and resentment.
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Through therapy you will discover how to have a bonding conversation that consists of openness, responsiveness, and comfort. This type of dialogue is new to many people. Most of us haven’t been shown how to have conversations of true compassion and vulnerability and therefore, we struggle to access these mental states. The risk of emotional exposure and vulnerability can feel terrifying.
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To add fuel to the fire, we are wired to feel acutely sensitive as human beings to signs of rejection. How we manage this sense of rejection depends on our attachment style. However, even securely attached people can fall into a pattern of focusing on what their partner is doing wrong versus their own hurt feelings. For example, imagine that your partner goes to sleep early a few nights in a row. Your acute sensitivity may cause you to blow this out of proportion. Rather than noticing your painful sense of rejection and how much you miss your partner, your hurt ego criticizes and blames them for your pain. Your partner might have been feeling stressed at work, but your acute sensitivity prevents you from showing them warmth and comfort. This is a micro, but practical example of how our hurt feelings can grow into resentment.
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The beauty of couple’s therapy is through conversation and vulnerability, couples begin to tune into each other’s emotions and build safety. Attachment science tells us that emotional isolation is toxic for human beings. When you learn how to have authentic bonding conversations, you will experience intimacy, find comfort with your partner, and grow both individually and together.
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Contact us today to discover how to cultivate an intimate connection that entails love and friendship.
What Makes Relationships Successful?
According to John Gottman, a researcher who studied heterosexual and same sex couples for 40 years, happy relationships are characterized by dialogue, positive affection, and emotional attunement. They are committed, trusting, have shared values, and manage conflict well.
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So, how can you rekindle these fundamental elements in your relationship? It may seem out of reach, but the research shows that couples who are committed have the ability to repair and enhance their connection.
We're thrilled to announce that we have been honoured with the prestigious award for Best Marriage Counselling in Burnaby, BC! This recognition reflects our unwavering commitment to providing exceptional support and guidance to couples on their journey towards a fulfilling and harmonious relationship.
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Thank you to everyone who shared their positive and transformative experiences at Life Wise Counselling!
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Learn more by clicking here.
Intervention Strategy
How can you change the nature of your relationship?
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Our skilled therapists are trained in both Level 1 & 2 of Gottman Couple’s Therapy. We strongly believe in utilizing effective evidence based practices that are grounded in science. Emotionally Focused Couple’s Therapy, Behavioural Therapy, and Gottman Couple's Therapy have proven to revitalize the friendship, intimacy and positive affection in relationships. As per Gottman methods, your counsellor may begin by reviewing the Sound House Relationship theory with you. You will collaboratively evaluate the various ‘levels’ of your relationship to determine your strengths and potential areas of growth. Together you will co-create a treatment plan to support your goals for therapy.
If you have suffered from past trauma individually or due to challenges in the relationship, our counsellor can utilize different approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR Therapy) to support you with unresolved pain.